Originally Published By: Lisa D. Piper On: February 2, 2023
I was standing near the baptismal pool when a local pastor leaned over and said, “There’s a new couple in my church. I told them to talk to you. Would you mind?” Trust is a valuable and precious gift. It can be built, strengthened, crushed, abused, misused, misplaced, and even given away. Trust is powerful and fragile. The fact that the leader trusted me was an important moment and I did not want to misplace that gift.
Meeting Brenda
When I finally got to meet with the wife, I quickly learned a couple of things about her.
#1: Her trust had been broken and misused.
#2: God was going to put His trustworthiness to the test. And, as always, His faithfulness shines.
https://youtu.be/4YuLmhaxJIc
What Do You do When Trust is Shattered?
Different personalities tend to respond differently to trauma, betrayal, disappointment, and lies. While some vow to never trust again, others seek acceptance and toss what slivers of trust they have at anyone hoping that the seed is allowed to remain and grow.
Others place an invisible, yet formidable wall around their heart daring anyone to ever break in and hurt them again. That wall not only keeps out the pain but also prevents the healing from passing into the heart as well.
The answer to what to do when trust has been shattered is to find what is trustworthy and put any hope and all faith into the truth. Jesus is the only One who is 100% trustworthy 100% of the time. A better question might be how to trust in Him when the ability to trust is lost!
Article on How to Go Through Hard Times
How To Trust Again
Before Saul threw a javelin at David and tried to kill him, the Bible said that Saul loved the young man. Nothing hurts worse than love turning into a weapon of destruction. What did David do? He turned to God and chose to trust only in Him. We see David trusting in God when his son rebelled against him. His focus was on the mighty One! The Psalms are full of David’s declarations of trust in the midst of trials.
I’ve dealt with quite a few traumatized and untrusting persons. I have learned that God is okay with earning a person’s trust. He will reach out in kindness and wait patiently. He is kind and very gentle with the broken. Isn’t it a beautiful contract that God resists the proud, it is easy to see He embraces the broken.
If I were to put bullets of how to trust God, I would say:
- Forgive those who have caused mistrust so that you can break free from them and obey God.
- If you can’t trust God with everything, choose one thing and say, “God, I’m going to trust you with this. I want to trust you completely, but until I can with my whole heart, I give you this.”
- Ask HIm to heal your heart and your “truster.” It is easier to trust God once the heart and emotions are healed.
- And lastly, read the Word of God for encouragement and to stir up your faith! Know God. If you really know Him then you will find He is faithful. Let that get down in your spirit.
A Hunger for Trusting
I know a girl who loves to swing. She swings so much that she has broken at least four while in midair! If it were me, I’m not so sure I’d take up swinging again, but every time, she goes back out and swings. Her hunger and love of swinging far outweigh the terror of falling. I don’t get it…but that’s her thing.
When we have fallen over and over, we can supernaturally gain such love and hunger to trust the faithful One that even if we fall again, it would be totally worth it.
The issue isn’t gaining the strength to trust, it is knowing what to make the target of the trust. In addition, if the passion to be in a relationship with Christ is at least as strong as the little girl’s passion to swing, then it won’t take long to give Him trust and allow Him the pleasure of proving His faithfulness.
Building Trust (Click here for a Focus on the Family Article!)
Brenda’s Journey
Let’s talk about Brenda again! When she realized that much of what she had believed was not the truth, it was an emotional revelation. She wondered how she could even trust herself to know what was the truth and what was a lie.
To remedy this issue, we began to call upon the Lord to deliver His truth in a way that only He can! After she forgave those who had misrepresented Christ, those who had abused her, and those who had not loved her as they should, it was easier to hear from God.
It is the truth that sets us free. Lies literally bind us. The problem with a lie is that when we believe a lie, it is really difficult to unbelieve the thing! For example, a husband can really love his wife. Yet, if she feels unworthy and unlovable, he can tell her all day long that he loves her, but she won’t believe it! Fortunately for us, this is where the God of truth comes in. If a person can hear the truth from Him, it will shatter the lies! Afterward, it will be easier to trust in Him.
The Benefit of Taking the Risk to Trust
As I was finishing this article, I messaged Brenda to ask her how she is doing and what she might say about hearing the truth and learning to trust. Here is what she sent to me:
“At one point, He impressed upon me that I really am forgiven. I wrote this scripture down in my journal:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NKJV
It was really hard to believe I was forgiven. I viewed God as a God who was going to punish me as soon as I messed up…that He was going to squash me. The truth is He is for me, not against me. (Romans 8:31)” Brenda had to trust God to forgive her. Trust and peace are colaborers in our lives. When they’re broken it is a gateway to torment, but when working as God intended, it is glorious.
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 NKJV